Thoughts VI

It's been a long while and it seems like you've gone a long way.

There you were, on that same spot where I first laid eyes on you. You were busy talking to your friends, exchanging hugs and kisses. You turned out to be more beautiful since the last time I saw you. At first I wanted to turn back and walk away but something in me wanted to know how you're doing.

"Uhm, Hi... how are you? It's been a year" As I stare blankly towards your expressionless face, images from our past began to reel on my mind.

The memories I kept in a casket buried deep in the depths of my oblivious head, somehow crawled its way up to where we stood.

Do you remember how I used to bring you roses on our special days? 

How about the letters I stayed up all night just to write?

Do you remember the feeling when all we had to do was walk aimlessly and let time fly?

Do you remember... sitting beneath the cloudless sky, the moon's pulsating beam illuminating our very shadows as we indulge ourselves in exchanging fantasies of what our life together would be like. My soft lips gently pressed against yours; my fingers smoothing the strands of your chestnut hair, Do you remember any of it?

It's sad though, how I lacked the courage to say to you every memoir that was summoned in my head. I knew you've gone far. I knew the pain you've had to overcome; the pain that kept you up all night weeping and searching for answers. The pain.... I inflicted.

If only I have the power to go back in time and correct my wrongs just so I could keep you wrapped in my arms, I would've done it. If only I was wise enough to know the fruits of my shortcomings, I would have been more cautious. If only I kept myself in love in times when I was about to fall out it...

Your eyes looked away as I tried to share a tale.

"Elijah, I hope you understand"
"... uhm, of course! I'm sorry"
"You know, one thing I don't get is that I'm not mad at you for breaking my heart. I don't know why but I guess we really don't need to understand everything right?"
"...right"
"...uhm, take care of yourself"
"yes, you too."

In my head was a whisper "My darling, I shouldn't have let you walk out my door"

P.S.
Our entire love story's written here on my blog, search for thoughts 1-5 it's there. If you've been following me since 2010, you'll know this one.